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Welcome
to the website of
E ~merging
Beyond
Mediation Services
Untangling
the knots of conflict
and re-weaving them into knots of understanding
and/or trust
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The
Mediator's Role
Mediation
 unless
ordered by the courts (usually in family
legal, or Restorative Justice, situations)
is entered into entirely by choice by the two (or
more) parties involved; usually after some attempt
has been made to resolve the situation by the parties
themselves, or with the help of family members or co-workers. The
Mediator's primary role is to create and maintain a
positive and safe environment, where a productive discussion
can ensue that moves beyond whatever conflict-knots
have occurred.
Mediators
are not arbitrators.They
do not solve the problem for the parties, and generally
don't give advice
but may suggest resources that should be explored (for
example, if there is a legal element to the issue; or
if there are other innovative solutions on record that
address a similar situation).Their
responsibility is to facilitate the direction of the
conversation so that the parties involved can discover
their own unique 'win-win' solution.In
the process, they maintain a sense of equality between
the parties, and help them explore the knot itself
for
both the threads of disagreement/misunderstanding/etc.
and those of common values/concerns/etc.Mediators
are "tough on the problem without being tough on
the people involved" (quote from
Laura Luz at Creatingidealsolutions).They
are trained in recognizing what knots may be
happening and unrecognized threads may be involved,
and how to help the partiies untangle them.They
maintain neutrality on the issue itself
ensuring that the solution fits the parties' needs and
values, not their own.
A key
element of mediation is confidentiality
the parties involved cannot be expected to explore the
threads of the conflict if revealing such information
would be of any danger to them, or create further discord
(in their families, relationship with
co-workers, etc.).The
Mediator is not allowed to reveal any information that
is disclosed during the mediation session, and will
not testify to such in any court.It
is entirely up to the parties themselves to agree upon
what information (if any) may
be shared with others who are not directly, or only
indirectly, involved.
What
to expect if choosing Mediation
1. Pre-mediation
discussion
once
there has bee a request for mediation, the Mediator
will speak with both (or more)
parties separately, in order to
a) get a general sense of what the issue is and how
it evolved
according to the perspective of each party
b) clarify what attempts have already been made to resolve
the problem
c) consider if there are any legal issues to consider,
further practical information required, or resources
to be explored; or if there any other parties that should
be involved
in order to finalize a solution that is truly workable
d) explain the Mediator's role, and answers any questions
or concerns about how the mediation session might progress
e) ensure that Mediator can facilitate without bias,
or recommend another Mediator who could and/or has more
experience with that particular kind of problem (especially
if there are legal ramifications to the solution)
f) review the fees, help identify a neutral space for
the mediation session (if necessary)
and possible dates, etc.
g) ensure that each party is choosing mediation by their
own free-will, and if they wish to continue towards
an actual mediation session
2. The
Mediation session(s)
f) The first concern is to address any questions or
concerns about the Mediation process that may have arisen,
and then to address the issue of confidentiality (re
what gets shared from the session with those not present,
yet involved in some way).
g) Each party will be asked to give a short overview
of the situation from their perspective: and together
with the Mediator, they identify the core issue(s)
of the situation (what needs to resolved
which
may be different for each party).
h) The Mediator will then support the parties to address
the threads
the factors that are relevant to the situation (called
"interests"); but may have either
not yet been shared between the two parties, or have
caused confusion.These
may include articulating wishes, expectations and/or
needs; clarifying misunderstandings or misinformation
(or missing information); identifying
difference in perspective, or personal or cultural,
values; or other influences on the conflict-knot.The
Mediator helps identify common goals or values; or differences
that may be complementary, rather than conflictive.
i) When it seems that most of the factors/interests
have been addressed, the Mediator will support the parties
to create their own unique solution.Often,
parts of the solution have already been identified during
the conversation.The
Mediator does not propose the solution, but helps the
parties identify how partial solutions and articulated
threads/interests might be woven together to
build a 'win-win' resolution.It
is also the Mediator's responsibility to ensure that
the solution relatively equally addresses both parties'
wishes/needs.
j) Once a solution has been created, the Mediator will
help the parties determine how to best ensure that it
works in the long-term, via
 i)
writing it down in a form that both parties agree to
ii)
clarifying of what else might need to happen before
it is finalized (such as the approval
of other interested parties)
iii)
determining how and when to check-in that the solution
is working, and/or if it needs further amendments
iv)
identifying what the options might be available if the
resolution does not work long-term.
k) If the solution has not been reached in the first
session, and both parties are willing to continue the
process, another session will be arranged.In
that case, further interests or concerns will
be addressed at a later date, just because of time limitations.However,
it may also be that
i)
the parties may need to check with other interested
parties to identify if the present direction of the
mediation is appropriate; and/or
ii)
further resources or clarifying information may need
to be researched (especially if there
are legal ramifications, or further relevant information
needs to be considered); and/or
iii)
either or both parties may wish to have a time period
to reconsider the direction of the session
and whether it is adequately addressing their needs/wishes.
Limitations
of Mediation
Many seemingly
irresolvable situations can be addressed through mediation,
but may still need a lawyer's (or other authority's)
involvement to finalize the solution
especially if there are legal ramifications, or the
solution requires changes in the workplace/etc.
Mediation
is an entirely voluntary process
and one or the other of the parties may decide to end
it before a solution has been reached.Some
situations may require several mediation sessions to
address all of the threads/interests relevant
to each party, and create a solution that meets all
of their needs/wishes.In
some cases, external changes (outside
the choices of the two parties) may be required
before a 'win-win' solution becomes possible.
It is
also possible that, although some clarification and
understanding has occurred, the mediation does not lead
to a specific solution.In
this case, the Mediator may not be the most appropriate
one to work with the two parties, or the parties may
need more time (and perhaps other temporary
solutions, or interim measures) before choosing
whether to continue with mediation or not.
Mediation
The journey from
knots of conflict
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to
knots of understanding,
respect and/or trust
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